India's very own Superman!

He is the one who vowed to make Indian Railways the largest rail network in the world. He is the one who wants to introduce Bullet trains in India. He is the one who once famously remarked, "I will be Prime Minister in 2009." Simply put, he is 'The One'.

He has been written off as many times as he has children. But each time, he has persevered, risen like a phoenix, from the ashes. He has gone from strength to strength - party leader to Chief Minister to Union Railway Minister; and now he wants to be Prime Minister. At the same time, he gets another shot at Bihar, what with elections being declared again in his beloved hometown. The bovine and ovine population must be standing by with collective bated breath, waiting and watching... after all, it is a question of will-they-won't-they get their daily bread-and-fodder.

As Railway Minister, he brought in revolutionary new changes. He first banned plastic cups, and brought in earthen cups. A few days back, he made the bold proposition of banning cold drinks in trains. The Railways is one of the biggest markets for cold drink companies. But that does not deter him, a truly brave warrior, from bringing in new and 'progressive' reforms. He will make buttermilk the next biggest thing after sliced bread. Next on the cards might, of course, be banning western-styled closets in trains. Finally one day, he will realize that trains were first built in the west, and so he will ban trains altogether, without caring that he will be out of a job. A true patriot!

He wants to introduce a Bullet train for a nine-hour journey between Mumbai and Ahmedabad. Unfortunately, Prime Minister Mr. Manmohan Singh defenestrated the idea. I had been looking forward to travelling in a Bullet train from platform no. 1 of Churchgate to Marine Lines. Also, a Bullet train wouldn't take one and a half hours to travel from Bhayandar to Churchgate.

Of course, there will be people who oppose his radical reforms - people who want him out of the cabinet due to his criminal record. But does he care? Nah! He doesn't give a damn to his detractors. "It is a conspiracy against me," he says! Who says Indians don't have a sense of humor?! In fact, R. K. Laxman once said that he owes his career to politicians!

In short, you can love him. Or you can hate him, for all he cares. But the fact is, you can't ignore him. He is, ladies and gentlemen, Shri Laloo Prasad Yadav. In fact, I wouldn't be wrong in saying he is India's very own Superman! Just take a look at a comparison of their powers:

Superman: Red lasers from eyes
Laloo: Red paan from mouth

Superman: Superspeed
Laloo: Bullet trains!

Superman: Invulnerable
Laloo: Invulnerable (hasn't he proved it!)

Superman: Flight
Laloo: He too has his feet seldom planted on the ground

Superman: Super-cold breath
Laloo: Super-cold shoulder (to all reason, logic and common sense)

Superman: Superhearing
Laloo: Party-workers who give him all the dirt

Superman: X-Ray / Telescopic / Microscopic Vision
Laloo: Party-workers, again!

The only difference between them is that Superman wears a red underwear outside his pants, and it is not clearly known whether Laloo wears his langoti (or should I say 'langotva'!) outside his pyjamas. Still, the similarities in their powers are uncanny. Some fodder for thought, huh!

Till next time.

Postscript: One of my friends feels he has it in him to become the next Laloo. I sincerely hope he gets his visa soon.

"Nuggets of Wisdom" by Haristotle:
You must have often been told by your teachers to dot your i's and cross your t's. But did you know that these dots and crosses have names? The dot over an 'i' or 'j' is called a jot. The cross on a 't' is called a tittle. Next time someone asks you to dot your i's and cross your t's, surprise them with your knowledge!

Words from the wise:
"Yes, they will be suprised... Who has the time to look up such 'information'?"